Potty Help Please!

Disclaimer: this entry is full of poop.  Read on if you dare.

Tomorrow marks six weeks since we began Operation Potty Training.  Here's the good news: aside from sleep-times, I think M is 99% potty trained.  And he's really improving in that department, waking up dry from naps sometimes, so if he were the only one being potty trained, I'd be throwing a freaking parade in his honor and thinking that I was a potty training champion mommy.

However, I'm pulling my hair out.

N can mostly stay dry when it comes to pee, and he KNOWS he's supposed to poop in the potty.  But there is some sort of brain-bottom disconnect happening and I'm at my wit's end trying to help him.  Here's what happened again, for the third day in a row - and it's severely affecting naptime, the two hours of the day I get to either accomplish some kind of chore (like meals or laundry) and/or put my swelling feet up (I'm 30 weeks prego tomorrow and finally beginning to feel it), and since this is day three of pretty much no nap, I'm desperate, and calling on you moms who've gone before; HELP!

How do I get him to let it go on the potty?

I think he feels it coming - he either has a little smear and runs to the bathroom, or just "feels" it.  Then he pees and jumps up, thinking he's done.  Since he's been a naptime pooper for years now, I've been making him stay put before nap - for a LONG time.  Reading stories, the whole thing.  Today the boys and I were in there from 12:30-1:00, just trying to go poo. 

As soon as we gave up, washed up, got dressed and tucked in, M wanted to try again, therefore so did N. So I let them, because M does seem to be right - not only did he go, but he made it on the big potty!  Hooray!  Celebration, choosing of the poopy prize, tuck back in, all while N was supposed to continue trying.  But he was scootching around the bathroom like the potty was a car, rifling through the bathroom cupboards, and "driving" out toward the living room when I got back to him.

So I said he was done, slapped a diaper on him (he'd already had two small accidents prior to 12:30) and put him back to bed.  That was at 1:15, so he'd spend most of 45 minutes sitting there...plenty of time, I'd think to do the deed if it were about to happen (because it usually does around 1:00 or immediately following the closing of the naptime door).

He was getting out of bed and helping himself to the bathroom less than 10 minutes later, WITH A POOPY DIAPER. 

TODAY IS THE THIRD DAY IT'S HAPPENED LIKE THIS.

So, what do I do?

• I've been repeatedly asking him if he knows where poopy goes.  "In the potty" he says.

• He's seen M do this many times and receive a prize from the poopy prize jar.  (N has received 2, and one was totally cheating because he had an accident then made a bit more on the potty, but I did it to reinforce the concept of being rewarded.)
• We've downloaded new games on the ipad as an alternate prize, thinking the candies and stickers in the jar aren't cutting it, to no avail.
• I've been trying to convince myself that since he's actually trying, or saying he's trying, that's progress, but seriously, he's messing up three diapers a day doing this (because it's not coming all at once), nearly the amount he used before potty training, and when I say diaper, I include Pull Ups, too because that's what he wears out of the house - and those are NOT cheap.  

Everyone keeps telling me that poopy in the potty takes time, and I get that.  But what do I do in the meantime, while he's NOT napping and completely ruining our evenings because he's so cranky and tired?  How do I convince him if he'd just go on the potty, he could fall asleep for nap and we'll ALL BE SO MUCH HAPPIER?

Anxiously awaiting your wisdom.,
Buried in Poop

My life is weird, but good.

Potty training has stalled. All I can tell you is M is great at keeping dry, but doesn't get number two in the potty. N had 4 accidents Saturday and I was brainstorming a blog post called "progress, Regress," but then life got crazy. Hubs has been under the weather most of the weekend, so a sweet neighbor came to watch the boys last night so I could take a friend to an awesome women's ministry event at our church. Then if was freezing-raining, but we went anyway.

Everything was great while we were there and I was quite enjoying myself, knowing it was my last night "off" since Hubs was supposed to be going to JFK all week. Little did I know. In an hour's time:

My van battery died.
Friend's mom came to church to jump it.
It didn't jump.
Key stuck in ignition.
Hubs texting asking where medicine is because he's worse.
Another friend found church maintenance guy "Bill" who helped jump with his truck.
Hooray! Van starts!
Hubs textx again because he's even worse.
Roads are bad going home.
Poor neighbor stayed till 10:00 because he heard how bad Hubs was feeling. (need I go onto the details? Let's just say he was SICK.)
Find hubs white as a ghost and covered in hives.
NYC trip cancelled.
Wake up nurse M for consultation.

Everyone sleeps through the night.

I showered at 7am , lest I find myself taking Hubs to a clinic with 3 day old greasy hair.
N is whiny clingy and doesn't finish breakfast.
Taking care of Hubs and surreptitiously running to Target for meds while boys watch PBS, I come home to find N fevering.
Consult nurse M again.
Give N albuterol treatment, tuck all 3 in and go back to Target for more meds.
Did I mention our neighbors snowblowed our driveway so I'm trying to bake thank you cookies and make cute cards with the boys? No? We did that, too.
Toss more laundry in because sick people make more of it.
Sit down to eat a yogurt and check my email and blog this to you.
That's why potty training is at a standstill.
And, why my life is weird, but good.

Update and Thank You

Whew, we made it through last night and today!  N's x-rays were unclear, like I mentioned, so the pediatrician and radiologist can't determine whether his wheezing was due to asthma or pneumonia, so he's being treated for both.  We were discharged this morning with 4 prescriptions - antibiotics, steriods, nebulizer and albuterol.  What a load!  We're going to take it easy at home the rest of the week now.

There is lots of good news to be heard, though.  N responded well to the nebulizer, and by that I mean his breathing, NOT his behavior.  I endured the strongest toddler tantrum from him on record yet trying to give him a nebulizer treatment at urgent care last night and have the bruised shins to prove it.  Fortunately, the ER nurses were compassionate and helpful, so he actually got the meds in the second and subsequent times by NOT using a mask. 

He was a real trooper and enjoyed having a "super-arm" once the IV was put in and wrapped up - putting it in is another story altogether.  He especially enjoyed all the treats and attention he was getting.  At one point, our night nurse told us everyone was talking about him and his curls at the nurse's station.  I guess it's pretty exciting to get a two year old on steriods in the middle of the night on the old people's surgical wing! Whenever she would leave, N would ask, "Where Nursie go?"

Yeah, steriods.  I thought my kid was busy, but now I know he's just regular-kid busy, not a hyperspaz in real life.  The drugs not only kept him up all but 4 hours last night (he usually sleeps 11), they made him a spazzoid!  YOU try keeping 31 pounds of boundless energy in a hospital bed all night.  Eventually I just let  him climb up to the top of the incline and "slide" down the bed.  It was easier that way, until our morning nurse arrived.  (You know, the not-young-and-sweet-ones with all the seniority to have the day shifts.  Yeah.)  I was really glad he was feeling better and we were outta there by 9am.

I got about an hour of sleep during his 4 last night, so it was a rough day, but I have so many people to thank for their kindness during our emergency situation last night.  Our pastors' wives helped me out by encouraging me to take him to urgent care when I wasn't sure what to do, then stepped in to care for M most of the evening, when I thought it would just be an hour.  Then our next door neighbor relieved her and told me how much she enjoyed listening to M sing and tell stories to his bear while she waited for him to fall asleep and Hubby to arrive at midnight, who cut his business trip short and headed home asap when he heard the news.  Then all our family and friends who called and texted with love and support and offers for a nebulizer loaner when I thought insurance wasn't going to cover an expensive piece of medical equipment - thank you.  (By the way, a phone call cleared the confusion and it's covered :)

It was a crazy first trip to the ER with my kid, and while I thought that I would be a nervous wreck when (not if) the time came, I felt the peace of God and the presence of all of you supporting and praying for us from afar.  Thank you. 

Prayers, please

Prayers please. I'm spending the night in the hospital with N. First urgent care for wheezing and shortness of breath, then ER, now admitted for observation with possible pneumonia. Thank you, friends, for watching M. N has had 3 nebulizers, 3 x-rays, 1 iv, antibiotics, 3 stickers, 1 applesauce, 1 jelly toast, 1 chocolate pudding, and 1 Thomas the Train movie (he chose it over Elmo, can you belivw that? Ugh). Wheezing is better, temp is low grade, but still breathing shallow. We are in good hands and I feel the peace of God here, so I know all will be well. Just hope I catch a few zzzzzz's tonight. Thanks all.

I Had it Coming

Probably because when it happened to my sister, I thought (but didn't say), that will never happen to me. I'll be smart enough to keep Sharpies out of my child's reach! (I wasn't prego yet, so that alone explains a lot!)

Uh-huh.

You guessed it.

I was SO P-O'd that I didn't even take a picture of it.  I was doing something really important, like helping a friend who was lost on her way here, trying to figure out where she was and how to get from there to here so she wasn't driving around a million acres of farmland for hours with her two year old twin boys in the back seat, one of whom has a broken leg, when I heard a sound like shrieking baboons and stomping elephants overhead.  Maybe I can find a picture of a monkey with a sharpie?
.....No. 

Anyhow, we figured out where she kind of was right when the racket reached its peak and I reached the top of the stairs to find N with a BLACK SHARPIE in his hand!

FREAK OUT!!!

I snatched it, hung up on my friend (who is still my friend), and discovered SHARPIE

on the kitchen cabinets

on the refrigerator

on the sliding glass door

on his shirt

on his hands

Oh. My. Gosh.

I had enough wits about me to NOT touch my child, but not enough to keep me from hollering at the top of my lungs to GET YOUR BUTTS DOWNSTAIRS and GO PLAY TOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I know a wiser, calmer, gentler person would have hugged her kid, told him it was alright, the he just needs to help me clean it up.  Thank goodness they are smart enough to know when I really mean it, because they scurried downstairs like whipped puppies.  It's a good thing they did, too.

Because I had no idea if would come off the kitchen cabinets, which I must admit are NOT OURS.  I was already wondering how much it would cost to refinish our landlord's cupboards whilst rummaging for the Magic Eraser.

All hail Mr. Clean!  He saved my kids' lives yesterday!  It wiped off the wood in a second, like it really was magic! 

The refrigerator, which I was less concerned about initially, proved to be a greater challenge and needed MUCH elbow grease and kitchen cleaner with bleach, but it did come off.  While scrubbing, I called my sister to let her in on the stunt. 

The shirt, I'm afraid, is a loss.  It was a hand me down from who else?  My sister. 

Today is a new day, the sharpies are stored elsewhere, the mess is cleaned up, and the boys have lived to tell.

I'm beginning to reap what I have sown.  I know I can't change the past, but I can pray that God will help me survive it when I have more coming.  I guess I'll find out if I was a nice childless person or not.  Yipes!

Payday!

A stay at home mom never knows when her payday is coming, especially a stay at home mom of twin tunas.  I say "tunas," because trying to snuggle with one of my 22 month old dynamo boys is like trying to hug a tuna fish - a giant, live, writhing tuna fish just out of the sea.

See, me and my tuna fish! 

Bwahahahahahaha!  I love Google Images, don't you?  Seriously, if that WAS me and my tuna fish.....I'd wear a bikini year round!   I was trying to find a funny picture of a tuna fish and when I saw that, I just couldn't resist!  Because that could've been me, 10 years ago! Okay, what was I saying?  Ah, well...children, yes...the boys.

This morning the tunas woke up around 7:45 (glorious!  Hallelujah #1!), and N lifted his arms to me to be picked up.  Then he snuggled his little goldilocks head into my shoulder, so I sat down and rocked him like that for 10 MINUTES!!!  He didn't move, and, here's the miraculous part: M didn't holler with jealousy!  M rolled around in his crib, sucking on keebie and talking to his teddy bear.

Cha-ching!  THANK YOU, GOD! was my first thought.  (Hallelujah #2!) This is why I stay home, was my second thought.  I naively thought that stay at home moms spent DAYS doing this sort of snuggling - years ago.  Boy was I wrong, on that and many other accounts! 

Then, as if I couldn't ask for more...BOTH boys ate their entire breakfast (1 frozen waffe and 1 yogurt tube)! This is a huge victory in the meals department this week.

So, yeah, today is freaking wonderful and it's just 10:00 am.  I know that's a little early to be claiming victory, but I've got a playdate scheduled with a good friend and sunny 50-degree weather on tap for the rest of the day.  Add to that I totally scored a $40 train table (with trains!) on Craigslist!

That's not to mention all my other blessings going on in my life everyday.  I am the most blessed woman in the world.  Thank you, God, for paydays like today.

The real me and Tuna N

Grocery Getters

Had I known our trip to Cub would result in a blog post, I'd have taken my camera, too, but this is from October, when N's hair was just beginning to come in!  I had to show you the adorable cart that we use at the store - the guys love it!

So we started in the produce section, where Mr. Apple, as we called him, informed us that kids get a free apple every time they come in.  I knew about the cookies, but the apple...maybe they would eat them here?  They're not always crazy about them at home, even though they ask all the time.  I could always fall back on the cookie.  I took a bite out of each one to get them started.

About 15 mintues into the trip, both boys are behaving well and N is going to town on his apple.  What brand is that garlic bread coupon? I wonder....and reach for my coupons.  EGADS!  The coupon file is in the van!  This is not 55 cents here, people.  No, my coupons today were going to total $20.69, so I had to go back out and get them.

The Customer Service lady volunteered to babysit, but I declined, even though I've been shopping there for years and really like the people.  So I left my groceries with her, loaded the guys into their coats and an empty cart, which M loved because he tried to surf in the back while I repeated, "Sit down on your bottom," the whole time I was trying to hurry - because it's cold and windy again here - but not run - because M is squatting in the back of the cart while N struggles to keep holding on to his apple during the entire exchange.  I'm guessing this is where M lost his because it was never seen again.

Back in, back to shopping.  N is still mowing the apple, M is repeating, "Ap-po? Ap-po?" like, Where's my apple?  or Is that an apple?  Why are we buying so many apples?  Because everything, and I mean, EVERYTHING is either an apple or a cookie to him.  But I did get him to say "avacado" when I put one in the cart.

The rest of the trip went without a hitch.  I've been avoiding grocery shopping with them at all costs just because...well, it's a hassle.  But once you're actually in the store,strapped into the cart, apples in hands, it's not so bad.  And I like it when people say, "Twins?  They're so cute!" I reply, "Yes, they're good boys, " because I want them to hear me say it over and over again. 

As I identify each item for them AGAIN while I'm unloading the cart, I noticed N push the last chunk of apple in his mouth.  His sweatshirt is soaked with apple juice and he's giving me his humongous smile.

He just ate the ENTIRE apple...core and all.

Dacryoplasty Day

Following any general or intravenous anesthesia, or if you are on any pain medication, avoid alcoholic beverages, driving motor vehicles, or operating hazardous equipment for 24 hours.

We had a really hard time keeping N from operating his garbage trucks, tow truck, helicopter and bus this afternoon, since he wasn't allowed to operate them according to his post-surgery instructions.

The dacryoplasty was a breeze and N was an absolute gem.  Even though he wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight last night, he never once complained or even asked for a drink.  I felt justified in not breaking him from the pacifier (or eebie, as he calls it) today!  However, because everything has to be fair here, that meant M wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything either!  We whisked them from their cribs straight to a waiting DVD in the van, never mentioning food.  Whew.

Checking his 02 level before surgery

Waiting for the anesthesiologist

Little tiger gown...so cute!

Our little boy was so brave - he never cried once!  He really seemed to enjoy all the attention he was getting from both of us, once he got over the fact that his brother was staying with a friend while he was not.  The nurse gave him little tiger pants, too, but they were so humongous that she decided his sweats were better! 

I got to go in with the surgery team and hold him while they put him to sleep.  He only wiggled a little in my arms and we sang "Jesus Loves Me," while he fell asleep.  I think the anesthesiologist was a little fuzzy on the words, though.  For my busy little boy to suddenly go limp in my arms was the most bizarre feeling - because he NEVER does that - it's more like wrestling him to sleep if we try holding him!  I only had a second to lay him on the surgery table and slide his lovie blanket into his hand when they whisked me out of the room.  Of course I cried a little. 

Hubs was surprised to see me so soon - by the time I used the restroom and tried to crochet a piece - unsuccessfully I might add - maybe 10 minutes, the procedure was over!  N's doctor had threaded a wire into the left eye's tear duct to stretch it out - that's all it was.  The doctor reported that the surgery went well, gave us some instructions and his phone number in case of a problem, then it was over.  All we had to do was wait for him to wake up, which only took another 15 minutes or so.

He was very cuddly, tremendously thirsty, and a little confused, I think.  I certainly remember the outrageous thirst I felt after my c-section and was prepared with a big cup of apple juice for him.

As I type ten hours afterward, it's like nothing happened at all today.  And that's just the way it should be.  Thank goodness he can go back to operating all his hazardous equipment tomorrow!

Wordless Wednesday

Eye,eye,yiyiyi!

N is going to be getting that goobery left eye fixed in the near future.  He's been struggling with a blocked tear duct since the day he was born.  Poor fella has been on so many eye drops/ointments in 20 months I've lost count. 

We had a goober-free summer and fall and thought he'd outgrown it, that the tear duct had opened up as he grew, but since the boys came down with a wicked (!!) cold at Thanksgiving, it's back. 

Yesterday was N's second visit to the ophthalmologist, where we were told that while the procedure is not necessary, as in, he could live without it, but we'll be dealing with it every winter because it's partially blocked.  Meaning, as long as the weather is good and he's healthy, the duct can handle the drainage, but as soon as the air dries up, the eye waters more, and he catches colds, it'll back up, then get irritated, goobery, red, and then infected.  And the church nursery worker will continue to tell you that he's got Pink Eye and give you that look that says how dare you drop off your highly contagious kid in here and infect everyone. Even though he can't.

I'm waiting on the scheduling center to call me and set it up.  Everyone says it's a simple, easy procedure, and that putting him "under" is not a problem, that he'll bounce back in a day and not feel any pain, but still....

(Sigh) I know we will all be better for it on the other side, though.  So here goes.