Deep Thoughts by K. Handy

I know this is an election year and there are other terrible things happening in the world, but these are the questions rolling around my skull today (and the part where you discover I'm as deep as a wading pool):

1. How old are these two postcard stamps and will they be enough to mail the two random Australia postcards I gave the boys to "write"?

2. Is that oh so faint humming sound in my kitchen coming from the oven and is it related to the oven's inability to light sometimes?

3. Will my house EVER be clean again? I feel like I'm bailing the Titanic with a soup spoon.

4. Does anyone ever actually MAKE the craft/recipe pinned onto Pinterest? I finally am figuring it out, and love finding great ideas for my home, but I honesty don't think I'll get around to doing any of them...until I'm a stay at home mom whose kids are in school all day, which I'm beginning to think everyone on Pinterst is or wants to be.

5. What does it say about me when a friend tells me she's pregnant and my first thought is "glad it's you not me?" Am I a bad friend?

6. Will people think my hand made Christmas gifts are cheap and corny? Just because I think hand made gifts are special and unique, will others appreciate that I spent time and effort on them?

7. Whatever happened to the Jack Handy skit on SNL? When was the last time I saw that show, anyhow? Did anybody catch that reference?

8. How fast are my kids going to grow this fall and winter? I have scads of 3T clothes which fit in the waist but I can tell will be too short soon.

9. Does anyone cut a 4 month old's hair? C's flow hawk was so long and thin after his bath it wouldn't stand up. Now he's got the old man comb over and balding rim around the edges and long three inch strands behind both ears. Good thing it's hat season.  And that he's already so cute.

10. How many activities should I sign me and the kids up for this fall? Should I join MOPS?  I wish I could do housework while at home with them but if I'm honest we are all happier and the day goes better if we do an outing in the morning. But then what about having time at home? Or getting sick? On the other hand, what about going bat poop crazy this winter? How do those day care providers cope? For the first time ever I understand why women took Valium decades ago (maybe still do...I self medicate with food).

11. Will N ever potty train? What's the average for a normally developing child? I heard age 3, then 3 years 3 months, both of which he's now passed. Now I'm hoping for 3 and a half (thanksgiving) or at the very least, Jan 12, a year from the date I first started training him. I'm kinda going crazy with this.

12. Did anyone read to the end of this? I've rambled incoherently, but it kept me from yelling at my kids the last half hour until they fell asleep (another awesome no nap day!) and from trolling Pinterst and Facebook aimlessly.