I recently saw the mind-boggling movie "Inception." Thanks to Netflix, I am only a few months behind on recent releases, rather than years. Normally I choose romantic comedies, because they are harmless and brainless and I don't lie awake thinking about who did what or killed whom or have nightmares that someone's after me, but Hubs convinced me that I would like this one, so I put it in the queue.
He was right! I won't spoil the ending if you haven't seen it, but you have to understand the concept a bit to understand how yesterday I was living in "Inception." You see, in the movie, Leonardo DeCaprio's character is hired to plant an idea into someone's brain during his sleep through a dream. But in order to do it, he must create a dream-within-a-dream, which is dangerous, but this is SUCH a difficult case, he must create a THIRD level, a dream-within-a-dream-within-a-dream, and if things don't go exactly right, (and when do they ever?), he could fall into this dream (which is bad, of course, with people trying to kill him) and NEVER GET OUT but also NEVER DIE. Sounds awful, right?
That was us with two toddlers trying to fly standby out of Charlotte, NC yesterday. We had a fantastic time at the wedding (which I'll write about later) and kissed everyone goodbye Sunday morning. The boys ate the cheese out of the bagel sandwich I gave them for breakfast in the backseat, and tore up the bagels, throwing the shards all over the back of the car. N didn't want to play with any of the 7 toys we had with us for the whole weekend, so we had to pull off on a ramp and take the DVD player out of the trunk. Thank goodness for "Finding Nemo!" They still like Baby Einstien but those only last 24 minutes! The ride just from the cabin to the airport was 2 hours! Then we had to make a rest stop, then fill up the car and clean out the bagel shards, then return the car, ride the shuttle to the airport, stand in line to check our bags (oh, MSP, how we love your skycap service!!!), go through security (thank God for small miracles like the "family with strollers" line) wait at our gate, miss the first flight because there was only ONE open seat on it, eat overpriced Wendy's for lunch, watch "The Wiggles," re-read all of the children's books packed in our diaper bag, re-pack the diaper bag and Thomas the Train backbacks in preparation for being separated on the next flight (as in, he takes one boy to MSP and I wait in NC for the next flight with the other), only to miss the second flight because there was again only ONE seat (see, the second level of the dream within a dream-it's getting dangerous now!). We pause the movie here to re-evaluate our options and use the restrooms and do a diaper change. Someone's in the "family" restroom, so we have to take turns. Instead of one trip to the family restroom, it takes 4 trips.
We're sinking quickly into the third dream-within-dream which could keep us in pergatory forever. We decide to purchase zed fare tickets on US Airways to fly from NC to DTW and there try to catch a DTW to MSP flight. Hubs leaves the boys and I near near one of the 3 electrical outlets in the 10th largest airport in America so we can watch "Baby Einstein" and eat gummy bears while he leaves security to buy tickets at the gate where he decides to ditch our bags because otherwise it will take too long and we'll miss the flight before he retreives, re-checks, gets charged for them, and makes it back through security to get us. Thank God, again, for small miracles! N fell asleep watching Baby Einstein and M was content to eat 100 gummy bears during the movie.
N sleeps through walking to the gate, Hubs lifting him out of the umbrella stroller, carrying him, the carseat, and a backpack onto the plane, me holding him while hubs attaches the carseat, buckling him back into the carseat, then the rest of the flight to DTW!! This is a best miracle of the day, a sign that God IS with us and that we will one day awaken from this inception dream. M falls asleep before takeoff, and for the first flight since they were 8 months old, we have a peaceful flight.
Upon landing at DTW, we disembark, waiting in the jetbridge for a small eternity for our strollers because once we leave the jetbridge, we CANNOT come back for them, so I hold a screaming M's hand in a very hot jetbridge while passengers file past, staring at our little bedraggled family. Finally an employee asks if we're waiting for strollers. I smiled, but gave him the stink eye, while M cried and played "limp fish," trying to throw his body on the filthy jetway. He brought the stroller that belonged to the little sleeping infant's family first. I decided to let M keep crying. He was just vocalising what I could not say, and that employee could just listen to it since he decided to stand there staring at us for many many minutes.
YOU contributed to this by delaying our strollers, my stink eye said, although I'm sure it was misinterpretd as something else.
We're not done. We are in the US Airways terminal, so we have to take a bus, which the guys loved and charmed the busdriver and tried pressing all her buttons while we loaded our lighter load of junk onto the bus. M tried talking to a fellow passenger who told him, "You're on the bus of doom," and I laughed - seriously threw my head back and guffawed right out loud! What else could we do at this point?
Then we have to wait in line because the self-check in kiosks are down (is anyone surprised here?) and go through security again. I'd complain, but the boys are champs when it comes to this. They are very obedient and like to watch all the activity. We have to check with the agent because there are just two flights left (it's 7pm by this time and literally the 11th hour of traveling) to MSP. The computer system says they're both full. We decided not to risk missing two more flights and shucking out more money to stay in a hotel and book ourselves on the flight to MBS (Michigan).
Mother-in-law doesn't quite understand what has transpired, since Hubs is again buckling the carseat into the airplane as he asks her to pick us up in hour, we're spending the night at your house, the door is closing goodbye, but she's happy she gets to see her grandsons.
I'll spare you the details of a less than helpful flight attendant who gave me the stink eye as I allowed N to tear out every page of Sky magazine since she took away all my bags full of treats and toys because we were in the bulkhead and they had to be stowed but there was no stowage overhead since we were the last ones on the plane and please keep the window open according to flight regulations, so No No, N, you can't play with the windows, only the Sky magazine.
I finally woke up from my dream within a dream around 8 am Eastern time, at my mother in law's house. I'm not home and I don't have any clean clothes for myself or my husband, but there is coffee brewing and one spare outfit for the boys in their bag.
At least our life isn't boring.
