Monday, November 8, 2010

Operation Destruct-o-boys

Dear Grandmas,

This is your two-week notice: WE ARE COMING!  And we are going to DESTROY!

We've been practicing all week.  Here's our plan:
First, M will spin around in circles in the living room to get dizzy, giggling and squeaking like a mouse.  You will think this is hilarious!  You won't see N as he pushes something to use as a footstool and climb onto the dining room chair, then the table and mess up everything he KNOWS you're keeping from him!

When you run to get N off the table, M will make a break for a kitchen cupboard, empty it completely, and climb in.  Then the brothers will have a giggling good time opening and closing the door until one of them drags the other out by his collar, causing a fight.  Then one of the them will step on to a cupboard object, it will fly out from underneath him and he'll bang his head onto the floor, causing both of them to cry.

To console them, you'll put a boo-boo bunny on the bump and turn on a cartoon, which reminds them THERE ARE BUTTONS TO PUSH!  And they will be instantly happy pushing all the TV and DVD and remote control buttons they can reach.  You'll spend weeks fixing the settings and get them right just before we come back for Christmas. 

You'll try to corrall them on your couch and N will decided that it's more fun to take all the cushions off the couch, which is just as well because M will bring you a blanket throw because he wants you to put it on his head so he can play "ghost."  Then he'll walk around and trip over the blanket only to fall onto the pillows and couch cushions.  Make sure you've got another blanket because N will decide he's taken all the cushions off and he wants to be a ghost, too.  This is hilarious when the ghosts bump into each other.  You can have minutes of fun!

You'll decide to get them a snack but you'll say "cookie" and they will follow you around like little ducklings saying "coo-kie? coo-kie? coo-kie?coo-kie?" and if you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for milk, which is, oddly, the "milk" sign accompanied by "baba?"  Don't ask me why.  Then they will bombard with "mo?mo?mo?mo?" until you give them another.

Exasperated, you'll say, "All done!" and they'll repeat "Ahh Duh!" and you'll try to wash their hands in the sink because you gave them chocolate or yogurt covered cookies, but they're too short so you'll be holding them over the sink and the wash-ee will be grabbing everything in sight to put into his mouth while the dirty kid will be playing with magnets and scratching up your refrigerator.

In an effort to keep them occupied, you'll desperately try to get them to play with toys.  Pish-shaw!  They found your purse and are actively removing and inspecting each and every item.  You won't know this until you hear your car alarm sounding.

Finally, you'll decide it's naptime (hallelujah!) and put them in their beds only to get a big squeeze around the neck and if you're lucky, a snotty kiss and a "nigh-nigh."

And you'll decide you love your daughter (in-law) even more than you did before she dropped them off an hour ago. 

1 comment:

Pam Kelsey said...

Wait! What do you mean, "drop them off!" No,no, no!